


Swimming Above Water

by Emile_is_waiting



Series: Can You Breathe? [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Child Abandonment, Dehumanization, Disassociation, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25351540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emile_is_waiting/pseuds/Emile_is_waiting
Summary: They have always been mismatched puzzle pieces. They've chipped and cracked over time and are spread apart in shards.Philza can't think through the haze.Wilbur can't cope with the emptiness.Techno can't live with the feelings.Tommy can't trust to be loved.Maybe they can make their own puzzle.
Relationships: :( - Relationship
Series: Can You Breathe? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1835920
Comments: 9
Kudos: 393





	Swimming Above Water

It had taken him some time to really let it sink in. The morning had been perfectly normal, he had woken to the savoury smell of eggs and ham sizzling in the kitchen, he had gone to school like he would any other day, and he had laughed, laughed, laughed, just like anyone else.

When he was called to the principal’s office, he wasn’t too worried. He was a good student with straight A’s, there was almost no chance he would have gotten in trouble. He had gone into the office without any worries for himself. At most, one of his friends had gotten into a fight.

He didn’t quite remember what the principal had said exactly, but all he knew was that his parents were dead. He was thirteen, an orphan, and he wasn’t quite sure how he felt at this point.

"‘Za? You okay dude?” He didn’t know when he had gotten back to class but he was here now and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He felt himself walk towards his backpack and faintly heard himself say something back to his friends but it was all muffled from the cotton in his brain.

As he left, he took in a deep breath. Philza couldn’t feel a thing.

\-----------------

He tried his best to not forget. It hurt to remember that he had a family that he had to leave but if he forgot then he would only be a husk of a boy. Everyone would tell him it wasn’t his fault, but there had to be a reason. He thought they were a family.

But now he was here on the doorstep of a police station and he was spiralling. They had left him here and he had left his family and was he even a Soot anymore? The officers seemed confused at his presence and in all honesty, he was too. He had lost his family and he was a single step away from losing himself.

Charlie, David, George, Dan, Jack, Matt, and Rhianna. Would they ever want him back? Would he ever be accepted as a Soot again if they ever met?

And that was selfish, wasn’t it? They didn’t want him anymore but he wanted to stick to them like an unremovable mould. He was pragmatic beyond any reasoning but he didn’t know how else to cope.

Wilbur Soot would grab onto his past for dear life.

\-----------------

He had to remind himself he was a person. They always said, “That boy is no boy! He is the child of Satan and he has come to make us into devils!” He feared that if he closed his eyes for too long, he would forget everything that made him a Him and not an It.

It- he was sore and heard the yelling through the paper-thin walls. He looked at the empty box of pink dye in his hand and was glad he would get to leave soon. It was nearly midnight when he heard the distant horn of his father leaving to wherever the hell he went at this time.

It was like a breath of fresh air to leave the tiny space under his bed and card his hand through his newly dyed hair. He was leaving the part of himself that was an It here and he’d build a new form outside the damned walls of the hellhole he called home.

He was a person. He was a person. He was alive and nothing would change that. He had humanity and he would be alive, damn them. They would not ruin his new life because of their beliefs in the higher-ups and God.

Under the shadow of the night, Techno left his life behind and didn’t spare a glance back.

\-----------------

This family was so much better than the last in his opinion. The Golds were just a couple living in the Californian suburbs but they were nicer than any other family he’d had before and fawned over him and his older foster siblings in the hours they were around.

His old foster siblings were great too, even if they weren’t around anymore. Deo and Wisp didn’t mind when he annoyed and pranked them as the others did. They pranked him back and they fooled around just like he’d always dreamed friends would.

Even though he’d never admit it to a soul, he’d cried when they left, they were the first of his siblings to stick around for so long. All eleven years of his life were spent in the system, drifting in and out of families that never liked him very much.

But! He wouldn’t be alone for much longer! Mrs Gold said that he’d be getting new siblings soon, and one of them was brand new to the system! He hoped they’d like him. No one else besides Deo and Tubbo had ever tolerated him and he was psyched for the prospect of meeting his new family.

With an open heart, Tommy smiled at the prospect of being loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Philza, Wilbur, Techno, and Tommy are 13, 12, 11 and 12 respectively in their scenes but Tommy’s is present time, while the other threes’ are 3 years in the past.
> 
> Hi? So this is my first fic in the mcyt fandom so this might be lowkey trash haha. I’ll be continuing this series soon once a get a backlog of plot, so stay tuned for that. Feel free to leave any con-crit or suggestions in the comments :)


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